Register One - I can't believe this title line was messed up for an entire year.

"Take out their holy sites"
Posted by on July 19, 2005 - all for the empire a.m.

I seldom venture into the realm of politics, but I was pointed towards this article recently. This is a completely sound and reasonable idea, as we all know the following to be indisputable facts:

1. All Moslems are Terrorists.
2. Bonus Fact! You have two options:
-2.a. Holy sites are populated only by Terrorists (see Fact 1, ignore census data).
-2.b. Ascribe to "Kill them all and let God sort them out" philosophy.
3. Volent strikes never incite aggressive retaliation of any kind.
4. In light of Fact 3, the massacre and obliteration of a city regarded holy by over one quarter of the Earth (Lemma 4.1) would do much to "deter [Terrorists] from their murderous impulses," as it would clearly be interpreted as a chastising slap on the snout with a rolled up newspaper. This is in contrast with the hypothetical destruction of American cities, which immediately prompts the response of bombing Mecca.
5. Because Terrorists (a.k.a. Moslems) draw their life energy from Holy Sites, their destruction would cause all Terrorist units on the map to wither and die, resulting in American victory and advance to the next level, wherein cool new units and upgrades will be unveiled.
6. Note that by the Lemma 4.1. and Fact 1, one out of four individuals is a Terrorist.
7. The average American family has 3.2 people.
8. By fudging Facts 6 and 7, there is a 60.2% chance that someone in your immediate family (if American) is a terrorist.
9. Thus, it would be wise of you to report your entire family to the Department of Homeland Security just to be safe, especially if you have an �ethnic� family name. If you�re not an American family, you�re probably a terrorist anyway, please report to whomever it is you�re supposed to report to in your local community.

Also note that on Fact 3�s link (the initial URL aptly titled �response,� how perfect), I found a little tidbit under America�s �Clear Strategy For Victory In The War On Terror.� Under the header �Freedom And Hope Will Defeat An Ideology Of Hate� (freedom and hope apparently being clear strategic goals) we see the line �Free nations do not support terrorists or invade their neighbors.� PLEASE. Have you grown so comfortable with your liar's reputation that you don�t even try to hide it, dear Government? You send us through basic required high school classes that explicitly state the contrary. Hell, you can buy trading cards of them if you want. Have you absolutely no respect for any of us? I suppose I shouldn't even bother asking.

Like I said, I hate to get political, because the fact of the matter is that I got to the game late, and it�s only growing faster. I despise being anti-anything just because it's trendy or popular opinion, and I can't make concrete stands on issues I�m barely only half-knowledgeable about. With a thousand media outlets and global issues today, the sheer volume of information combined with the ever-present question of credibility is downright suffocating. I�m ashamed to say that aside from a brief stint with the DMCA, such issues never sparked me personally, either. I have a lot of respect for many of those who do get inspired, as they are the people who actually dedicate themselves to trying to affect the real world. For now, I just keep doing the things I do well and try to stay informed, which still almost seems like a bastard son of apathy in disguise. It could be worse, I suppose, but then, it could also be better.

Sorry to get fired up about some imbecilic remark from a congressman.

Re: time blurb
Posted by on July 19, 2005 - psionic blades a.m.

You're really supposed to be quiet and smug about this sort of thing, but I can't resist pointing out that the quote in the top time slot works on a remarkable number of levels. Unfortunately, non-gamers will not catch all of them, but for the gamers who still don't see everything, here's a hint to jog your memory. Anything further would be akin to beating you over the head with it, and that's no fun.

184. Video: Edith and I are up late ~~studying for midterms~~ watching crazy German music videos from the 90s. I'll miss college.

183. Video: Edith, the darling lass pictured above, will be performing this later this semester. I'm not sure what the protocol is when you find out your girlfriend is a zombie, but I guess I'm glad to have advanced warning that she'll be eating my brains at some point.

182. Video: Women in Western Art. Pretty niftay.

181. Comic: Copper is updating again! Glee!

180. Japanese Insanity Guitar Bear Pink Japan: WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?WHAT?

179. Video: Pac Man invasion. Old, I guess, but still required viewing.

178. Comic: Piled Higher and Deeper: So awesome! Also makes me not want to go to gradschool. Though, it worked out for my dad anyway, so who knows.

177. Artist: JF Bruckner: Oh yeah, jfb is awesome too! Right, right, more artists and comics, I forget so easily...

176. Comic: Copper: Copper is my favorite webcomic. Every strip is inspiringly beautiful and bursting with imagination, but beyond that, they consistently resonate with profundity without screaming "Look at ME, aren't I profound!?" I tried to write a lot more corny praise, but just go read all of them instead, you won't be sorry. I was hoping to wait for Kazu Kibuishi to get back to it so I could scream about its return, but it's been quite a while already, so I'll just link it again once that happens.

175. Artist: Mitsui. Life must be hard when you're this awesome. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

174. Comic: The Unfeasible Adventures of Beaver and Steve. I don't actually read this often, but the toaster knob makes me want to. That sentence will make no sense as soon as they update.

173. Humor: Kyle linked me to this, but I can't imagine why. P.S. Kyle sucks.

172. Comic: Socks. Okay, Socks is also amazing. I need to read through both these soon. Yargh.

171. Comic: Minus. Leo just linked me to minus, and it is aggggghjustgoreaditIcan'tthinkofwhattowriteitisamazing.

170. Flash Game: Fancy Pants. Fancy Pants!!! Made me want to drop everything and make an awesome speedy platformer with simple but incredibly smooth smooth animation with my roommates. Who knows what they'd do, but Kyle already agreed to it. Right Kyle? Study for your midterms to signify "yes."

169. Random: Revenge of Zoom Quilt.

168. Comic: Sinfest. How could you not know about Sinfest already? :|

167. Apps: doPdf. People keep asking how to write out pdfs. If you don't own Acrobat Pro, apparently this works.

166. Humor: Then Japan puts Berkeley to shame in the flash mob arena. But c'mon, it's Japan, it's probably weird when stuff like that doesn't happen.

165. Humor: Berkeley ninja flash mob battle royale round 1 fight.

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